I meant to write something that isn’t a review or a meme for my 100th post, but alas, I missed it. My 100th post is my second In My Mailbox post, and it’s not as monumental as…as…well, whatever I should have written. I would blame being sick for this lapse of coherent thought. Yes, I’d blame that.
So to my 101st post…what monumental thing should I write? Ah. I know.
Why do I have this blog?
See, it’s almost like asking myself, Why do I blog? But instead, I ask myself, why do I keep a book blog? Isn’t one blog enough? How can I possibly manage my time juggling one, two, three, four, five blogs? Why can’t I just stick all these book posts into my personal blogs?
To be honest, I never meant to create a book blog. I never really meant to get into niche blogging because I don’t have enough content and patience with keeping a niche blogs. How many blogs have I started that abandoned soon after? I started one for NaNoWriMo, another one for Script Frenzy, and there were other blogs that I can’t even remember anymore. I don’t think I’m too serious of a writer to have a serious writing blog, hence the now-stagnant fiction blog. I figure that the only niche blog I could manage is something related to books, because reading is something I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon.
It took me this year to start a book blog because I felt that my personal blog wasn’t a personal blog anymore. Books are a part of me (just ask my friends), so it could count as personal stuff, and I thought that was fine, up until a friend pointed out that I’m posting so many reviews but little about myself. Apparently, someone is still interested in reading that! So the book reviews petered out, until I stopped altogether, unless I just feel especially ecstatic about a book (or because I have some post links that I need to write — yes I earn money while blogging).
Come 2010, I wanted a different challenge. It’s hard to keep track of my reading challenges with just lists, and I admit that it’s getting harder and harder to write posts in my personal blog. I didn’t want to kill it entirely (since I do earn from it) but I didn’t know what to put. Call me a masochist, but I decided to pull the book posts out and put it in another place entirely so I can be pressured to think of posts for my personal blog.
With that, One More Page was born.
I know it’s not really the most noble reason to start a book blog. It’s more for me, really, to get me write more this year. In a way, it’s also for me to figure out why I have a personal blog and to keep it from being impersonal by just writing about books. While I try to maintain a personal touch with my book reviews and posts here, it’s not the same as the way I write about my faith or my day or some growing up realizations in my personal blog.
I’ve been blogging here for seven months, and truth be told, sometimes I still don’t have any idea what I am doing here. Strange, since I’ve been reviewing books for a while now. I admit I’m having a lot of blogger envy lately — not because of the ARCs or freebies that other book bloggers have, but with the community they all seem to be a part of. Seven months in, and I still feel a bit like a newbie, an outsider. I feel like I don’t read enough books, I feel like I don’t get enough activity here. I know these aren’t a measure of how good a book blogger I am (is there a way to measure it, really?), but sometimes I can’t help but feel quite…well, lonely.
I guess it’s also my fault because I’m mostly a lurker with other blogs. I leave comments, yes, but it’s not really the conversational type. I try to join the memes (can I just say how much I hate the word meme? Is there a better word to use? Ugh) out there, but I have yet to make a real connection, at least, book-blog wise. Against the other blogs out there, I just feel so mediocre. But then, I feel mediocre over other things, too, even if people tell me I’m good at it, so maybe that is just me.
I still like blogging, and I will never lose my love for books. And I don’t want to stop doing this, just yet, because I feel like I still have something to give, even if there are hundreds, even thousands of book bloggers out there.
I didn’t mean to be so down on this post, so I’m going to try to end it in a positive note: some affirmations for myself as someone who’s passionate over books (and writing). Here goes:
- I have something to say. Even if there are already 100+ reviews on a book that I will also be reviewing.
- Sometime, Somewhere, someone will be inspired with what I wrote here and will go out and get the book I wrote about.
- There’s no reason to have blogger envy. I am a part of a community of people who love books, and it’s an honor to be one of them. I just need to reach out.
Maybe when I get to my 1 year anniversary here, I’ll have a more coherent post on why I have this blog…but I guess for now, I’m just going to do what I do, find ways to improve myself with this, and hope that I make a difference somehow (I know, deep for something like a book blog, but still).
So here’s to post # 101.