Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later

Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later by Francine Pascal
Publisher: St. Martin’s Press
Number of pages: 304
My copy: ebook, bought from Amazon Kindle Store

Now with this striking new adult novel from author and creator Francine Pascal, millions of devoted fans can finally return to the idyllic Sweet Valley, home of the phenomenally successful book series and franchise. Iconic and beloved identical twins Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield are back and all grown up, dealing with the complicated adult world of love, careers, betrayal, and sisterhood.

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If there was a book that I could blame for my being a bookworm, it is definitely Francine Pascal’s Sweet Valley. I didn’t start with SVH like most people (and I hardly read them, now that I think about it) — I started with Sweet Valley Kids after I saw my classmate reading it back when I was in 3rd grade. When I grew older, I started on Sweet Valley Twins, and read so much more Sweet Valley after that. I remember even getting random Sweet Valley books from Book Sale whenever I needed a quick read because that’s what Sweet Valley has always been for me: quick, easy and comforting reads. A reminder that somewhere, somehow life can be absolutely perfect (even if it sets a totally bad standard). :)

It’s been years since I last read a Sweet Valley book, so when news of Sweet Valley Confidential came out, I knew it just had to be one of the books I must read this year. No excuses — as a girl who practically grew up in Sweet Valley, there is no way I cannot read this. :-)

So I’ll keep the summary brief to avoid spoilers. It’s roughly 11 years since Sweet Valley High, and Elizabeth is living on her own in New York City, refusing to answer her sister’s calls. She is lonely and angry, and the only person she is willing to talk to from her hometown is conceited rich boy Bruce Patman, who is now her best friend. What happened to Elizabeth? Why is she refusing to answer her sister’s calls? What did Jessica do that made sweet, calm and well-loved Elizabeth Wakefield flee and close her doors? And how did she become best friends with 1BRUCE1, of all people?

When I finished reading the book, I knew I looked like this (thanks, Hyperbole and a Half for the accurate illustration):

Image from Hyperbole and a Half

I know some of my friends and Twitter followers have read my reaction, and I can’t help it. When I finished the last page of the (e)book, I actually sat on the bed and stared into space, wondering what the heck just happened to what I read.

The appeal of this book lies in the nostalgia it brings. I didn’t really read that many SVH books but I was still familiar with the people there — Lila, Ken, Steven, Todd, etc. It was definitely a trip down memory lane and I can’t help but remember all those crazy stories that I read back then. The magic dolls, the numerous beach trips, the people who all wanted the twins dead or at least want to be them. Of course, since the books were written by ghost writers, continuity errors abound, but I can easily forgive that. It was fun seeing the characters and laughing at how silly they all were and are, even after 11 years. Sometimes I want to shake them: Elizabeth, stop being angsty! Jessica, why are you always crying? Todd! Why are you being such a sissy? Caroline, why are you still meddling with your friends? Why haven’t you all moved on from high school?!

It’s not bad. In fact, I found Sweet Valley Confidential very entertaining, and it kept me amused while reading and hours after I finished reading. However, it was very brain-numbing, and it was probably because of the sheer ridiculousness of the plot. The twins are still perfect gorgeous beings that everyone loves no matter how self-absorbed they could be. You’d think that people would have grown up from their high school woes, but no, everyone’s still hung up with old high school issues and hardly anyone has moved out. Come on — I’m hardly in contact with some of my old high school friends. Was Elizabeth the only one brave enough to move away? Wait, scratch that — it’s not even bravery. She ran away from something, and if she were really and truly brave, she would have stayed to face the entire mess. Also, the big reveal of why Elizabeth left? TOTAL DUD. I expected more from you, Francine!

The writing leaves less to be desired, bordering on cheesy at times. The POV and tense switching can get a bit annoying, although I have to give it to Francine Pascal — there were distinct differences in the characters’ voices that made you know who was speaking a few lines in. Sometimes, though, I feel like she was drunk when she wrote some of the parts, or at least, very sleepy. “He heard her and turned to look but almost without recognition, so frantic was he.” (p. 262) “So frantic was he”? Archaic-sounding much?

Now you see why I ended up like this after reading?

Image from Hyperbole and a Half

In the end, this book reminds me of what Jessica said in one of the Sweet Valley Jr. High books (I loved that spin-off — probably my favorite of all the SV series). After she and her sister threw a party and invited their old middle school friends who ditched them when things were going bad at the party, Jessica realized what it means when people say, “You can never go home again.” That is exactly what I felt after finishing Sweet Valley Confidential. I grew up in Sweet Valley, it’s been fun hanging out with all those people, but I don’t think I can ever feel at home with them. I think it’s time to move out.

So. Do I recommend Sweet Valley Confidential? It’s not really that terrible. It’s like reading a trashy romance novel (with trashy love scenes to boot!) or a gossip magazine about your favorite fictional characters. You have to expect that it’s like that so you won’t be annoyed at the time you spent reading this book. If you’re just the curious kind who didn’t really love (or at least like) the books before, I don’t think you’d be able to finish this. But if you were a fan, get ready for a fun, mind-numbing, and slightly ridiculous trip down memory lane. :)

Rating: [rating=2]

Excerpt: Read the first chapter here

Other reviews:
Shannon’s Sweet Valley High Blog
EW.com
Forever Young Adult